Ashley Hellinger on Black Ice
Subject: Soldier vs. Black Ice To: whseminar@dept.english.upenn.edu Ashley Hellinger April 2001 After speaking with Lorene Cary, I decided to read her memoir, "Black Ice", and I thought that it might be useful before meeting with June Jordan and having Lorene Cary's class in attendance, to reflect Black Ice and Soldier. After all, these memoirs are written by two very powerful and compelling African American females that have moved and inspired me. Both memoirs tell of the childhoods of women who have grown into artists, and both memoirs detail trials and tribulations, pain and progress, but the stories of Jordan and Cary do have unique features. The most fascinating part of reading these memoirs are that they were not at all what I had expected when I sat down to read them. I expected them to be about the lives of African american women, but I would make the case that they are not. They are about so much more than that. Since we all have all read "Soldier," it is useful to provide some insight about Cary's "Black Ice." Written in 1991, the book details Cary's decision to attend a prestigious boarding school, and her life during those years at St. Paul's. It opens in a wonderful way, with Cary conveying how much a part of her life the school was. She says, "Fifteen years before I had walked down the same aisle as a graduate, and nine years later as a teacher. Now I was ending my term as a trustee (3). By beginning in June of 1989, she is able to reflect back on all that had made her who she is today. The concluding chapter is set in June of 1989, as well. Here, Cary brings everything together and discusses her growth as a woman, her times of both heartache and joy in life, and what it truly means to be an African American. As said, the book is about much more than that though. I am sure June Jordan would agree that "Solider" is about much more than race. Jordan takes an approach similar to Cary's when structuring the book, as she begins with an anecdote that does not fall in chronologically with the events if her life. The tone of Jordan's memoir is much heavier than that of "Black Ice." While there are certainly happy events in the book, much of it leaves the reader frustrated and wanting to help Jordan tame her father. At the same time, Cary's anecdotes often contain moments of levity and laughter. That is not to say that there are not moments of pain in "Black Ice," but they do not compare to Jordan's tale of her childhood. The most fruitful comparison of the two books comes from when Jordan goes away to camp and then to prep school. For Cary, going to St. Paul's was a decision that she made for herself. She wanted it for herself. She wanted enrichment and fulfillment, even if it meant leaving her home and her family. "I supposed that the other black students at St. Paul's must have had Russell's spohistication and charm, his committment to black progress. I had to be part of that... This school- why, this was what I had been raised for, only I hadn't known it" (12). Jordan's experience is much different. While, she grew to want more for herself, it started out as something her father has suffoctaed her with. She says, "I was going to camp. My father had announced that as a fact. It would be good for me" (226). Everytime a difference between the two memoirs is pointed out, such as Jordan's experimentation and abandoning of prose, an overarching similarity can provide an answer. While the women refuse to discuss racism that they had encountered in life for much of the books, they begin to reflect about how race has affected them at the conclusions of the books. Jordan reflects that at Milwood High, she was the only colored girl or boy waiting for the bell. She says, "I didn't like it. I felt small. I felt outnumbered. I was surrounded by 'them.' And there was no 'we.' There was only me. I didn't like it" (248-49). Cary begins to reflect on the same things in her last chapter. She responds to a white man by reflecting, "I make the choices every day- to live where my kid grows up with black people like the black people I grew up with, and to hope that she doesn't get burned up by the shame...Could Bruce know that while black intellectuals debate the impact of the 1960s on black self-image, people on my street still say that a baby looks like a monkey if she is too dark?" (233-34). Being alone much of the time both in mind and in body was not a comfortable situation, and both women have remembered that as they began careers as artists and as mothers. While life was passing them by, Cary and Jordan, may not have realized exactly what race meant to them at a young age, but they certainly understand now, and they have embraced it as a part of their writing and in their quest to make a difference.