Four

by kirsten
 another cup of coffee
                    cough he's been smokin
                                     jokin
                                     cokin
                                     pokin fun
                                      this gun's
                                        no fun anymore
 "i am slowly going crazy
 one, two, three, four, five, six switch"
                                 stitch
                                 stitch
                          this heart won't mend
                     it's humpty dumpty, baby
                                baby's christening cup
                      couldn't put it back
                                        together again
 did i mention to you that i'm an aquarius
 and, i tell too many goddamn stupid stories
                                ten stories up
                                fourteen  
 	i'm a highrise machine
                              high rise
                              rise high
                      they're high
                              above the sky
                                 blue
                              like France
 "the France dance, the France dance
 something, something, underpants"
                        under pans?
                        just the fire baby
                      adjust the fire
 burn those letters hotter. don't you get it.
 things are different these days
                          plays
                        and plays
                          games
    trivial pursuit, risk, sorry,    uno
                                uno momento senor
                        i don't think i'm quite done yet   
  		      done THAT? you didn't? how could you?
        food you. fed. feed
        fueled you. burning
        fooled you. y..earn..ing.
                      earning
           nothing was deserved
        so, nothing was preserved
  m e m o r i e s   cast long shadow
                                hollow
                                hollow
                          quick follow
                                      with something
                                there's nothing
                                hollow
                        did you swallow? on a dare
                                         bare
                                    bore it all
                                    bore right through
                                             and through
                  but he was such a bore       
               such a whore
  i kiss the floor
                and hold on tight to
                                what i knew before
                              but, it's not there
                                        no more
                                        no more
 walked through and out and through and out
 the door--the whore, the bore, the floor, the four
                                four?
                               no more
                               no more

 and, i think that's enough of that
                            hip cat
                            cat scat
                      i'll get my movie back
               my life? enough to base a movie on?
 at least a cheap soap
             like fab            
    		  fad
         fame
                  phase
       it's all just a daze
       it'll pass
                 on the right
                        (fight it)
                       i write to write
                          to write to
 i sealed that last letter so even i couldn't read it
                                   "just don't feed it
                                        anymore"
                                   penny candy store
    we've all had first loves and great sex
                                  car wrecks
                         big fucking crashes
                                     crushes
                           white russians
                            pink irish
                                     lucky        
      days
                     big days
                                   bad days
                                  cold days cold
                                  sold to the lowest bidder
                                            you big kidder
      i thought you said you loved me
                           shoved me
       no, it wasn't like that at all
 after spring, came summer, then the fall
                        fell
                        spell
                witchcraft, wizard
 yeah, so what if i read our horoscopes. all of them.
                                           just then
                                            just then
                                        then just, just
                  no one knows what's really fair
                     it's going where it came from
                                        nowhere  
				   feel his stare
            but, he's not there
                   there
                     not there gone
                                gone where?
                        went
 a little cup of coffee went a long way
                           along the way
                           a wrong the way
                    the signpost read
                             red said
        goodnight, goodnight, it's time for bed.