Baroness Elsa von Freytag Loringhoven, "A Dozen Cocktails--Please"

Note: This poem was first published in The Little Review, edited by Margaret Anderson and Jane Heap. It caused a good deal of controversy. Letters, both strongly pro- and anti-Baroness, poured in. The gist of the anti-Baroness response: Why encourage someone who is so obviously insane? Why take seriously as art the versified ravings of such an unstable, narcissistically self-performing person who hardly knows the language in which she writes? Does this rise to the level even of anti-art?

No spinsterlollypop for me-- yes-- we have 
No bananasI got lusting palate-- I 
Always eat them-- -- -- -- -- -- --       
They have dandy celluloid tubes-- all sizes-- 
Tinted diabolically as a baboon's hind-complexion. 
A man's a-- 
Will-o'-th'-wisp! What's the dread 
Matter with the up-to-date-American- 
Home-comforts? Bum insufficient for the 
Should-be wellgroomed upsy! 
That's the leading question. 
There's the vibrator-- -- --   
Coy flappertoy! I am adult citizen with 
Vote-- I demand my unstinted share 
In roofeden-- witchsabbath of our baby- 
Lonian obelisk.  
What's radio for--if you please? 
"Eve's dart pricks snookums upon 
Wirefence. " 
An apple a day-- -- --   
It'll come-- -- -- --    
Ha! When? I'm no tongueswallowing yogi. 
Progress is ravishlng-- 
It doesn't me--  
Nudge it --
Kick it--
Prod it-- 
Push it-- 
Broadcast-- -- -- -- 
That's the lightning idea! 
S.O.S. national shortage of--  
What ? 
How are we going to put it befitting 
Lifted upsys? 
Psh! Any sissy poet has sufficient freezing 
Chemicals in his Freudian icechest to snuff all 
Cockiness. We'll hire one. 
Hell! Not that! That's the trouble-- --  
Cock crow silly! 
Oh fine! 
They're in France-- the air on the line-- 
The Poles-- -- -- -- -- --      
Have them send waves-- like candy-- 
Valentines-- -- -- -- 
"Say it with-- -- --   
Bolts ! 
Oh thunder! 
Serpentine aircurrents-- -- --   
Hhhhhphssssssss! The very word penetrates 
I feel whoozy! 
I like that. I don't hanker after Billyboys-- but I am entitled 
To be deeply shocked. 
So are we-- but you fill the hiatus. 
Dear-- I ain't queer-- I need it straight -- -- 
A dozen cocktails-- please-- -- -- --